Sunday, October 24, 2010

A Death like experience

Half n hour before going under the scalpel for a permanent settlement of the varicose vein issue, 

I was chattering with my surgeon and the anesthetist.  

"Can you do the other leg as well?" I asked my surgeon, Dr. Riza Ibrahim.

"Yes.... but.. that will cost you more.." he replied, with a pensive face.

"Not an operation Doc, your shaving the left leg, so shave the other leg also na, otherwise it would look kinda weird no?"

He replied with a boisterous laughter.."Ha ha ha.. but that will also cost you extra ha.."

No surprise, I thought, probably outsource that to Nalini-Yasmin down below. 

KDAH, with its state-of-the art infrastructure and facility, and a very well thoguht hospitality management plan, rounded of with excellent doctors - is a haven of a hospital. At least for the suburbs. For one, you don't smell ethylene or whatever that things is. As soon as you enter you feel safe that you are gonna be cured. In fact if you stick to the ground floor, you wont even know it's a hospital.

Anyways, I wasn't nervous about the operation. But i felt peculiar about what it's gonna be like to be under anesthesia? 

The drip was inserted on the back of my palm, and then was wheeled on to the surgery room. 

"The bed is too small" I complained as they hauled me over it.

Poker-face, the male-nurse replied "It's a table, not a bed."

"Oh, okay. OW OW OW"

Grinning, the anesthesist, Dr. Gaonkar said - "Sorry, were connecting the ECG nodes, your very hairy so we need alternative places"

"My neck!"

"Por favor! Could you please give me the anesthesia? I'd love to take a nap now"

Mid-way thru my last dialogue, I flt a gush in my right hand(where the drip was)

*BLANK!!*

Literally, i don't have any memory what happened then. 

And then I woke up, and I cried.

Not tears..but

"NUURRSEEE... SISTER.."

"What happenned?" - Sister Matthews. I'm not sure if thats her name, but she looked like my Bio teacher of the same name, so we'll call her that.

"I CAN'T BREATHE"

"Just calm down"

Ten seconds later..

"SISTEERRR... SISTERR.."

"What?"

"I can't breathe, can you take out the oxygen mask?"

"I think it's there to help you breathe"

"It's not helping me, TAKE IT OUT.."

"Okay.."

"Is my surgery done(only now recollecting why I was here)"

"Yes"

For those of you who don't know, I have a paranoia of suffocation. I shudder a bit everytime before I enter a modern lift. Yes, even an oxygen mask makes me feel constricted.

I have a difficulty in breathing, but then I resume normal breathing in no time.

Two minutes later..

"SISSSTERR... NURSE..." x 10

"What?"

"I am Hungry! plase give me something to eat!"

"Wait.." surveying some form attached to my bed "Doctor has said you cannot eat till 7 pm"

"F#&^%#$&#^$!!^%&**%"

a minute more..

"SISSTERRR..!!" x 15 times..

"What?"

"I am thirsty! Give me water"

"You can't have water also"

"Fffffff..umm.. what's the time?"

"2.30"

"F#%^$@&@%$!!!!?!?!?!"

Mom comes in..

"MAAAA.. THEY aren't giving me FOod..!! I Am thirSTYY.."

"Yes, doctor said you cannot have anything till 7."

"Grrr......."


Anyways, Id unno if you did, but I kindof found a comparison to death and rebirth.

The BLANK - that's what death is like probably. You may know it's coming, accept it its coming, or may come unknowingly, but its just like that BLANK.. which you cannot comprehend once you wake up.

And what do we first do we wake up in another body?

I'm hungry! I'm THIRSTY!! I can't breathe!!

Only thing having not having any memory of any language, we say WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...


Closing joke-

Even if you are a P.H.D, you come back next life and you learn A B C D.. all over again. 



4 comments:

Suchita said...

gosh! dat must've been a very scary experience! but ur okay now rite? dats all dat matters!
u know, everything dat we go thru seems sooo so diminutive and insignificant wen compared to d big picture of life and death... but then, dats wat stops d success from goin to our heads and the failures and pain from goin to our hearts!
tc, take rest and chill out!

Unknown said...

sooo weird... n of course u cudnt stop being all witty n funny even while being wheeled into surgery...
*big wide grin*..
anirudh anirudh..

Krishna said...

i can totally relate to dat BLANK phase once anesthesia is injected...
gradually wen u regain consciosuness.., wat wher wen how sorta questions brainstorm u...then u recollect d cause...
n all this in a matter of seconds...
phheuw...terrifyin...bt m sure this too shall pass...(courtesy: Suchie)

Hope u doin absolutelie fine now n can walk n run effortlessly...

ohh btw.., ur comic tymin was good..!!
jus tc.., n be ur Mamma's obedient Boi.. :)

)-(i~@l said...

well m still tryin to figure out how many times u promoted SISSSTERR... NURSE..x million maybe ;)
Sister Matthews. I'm not sure if thats her name, but she looked like my Bio teacher of the same name, so we'll call her that. haha sooo luuvv it :))...i know exactly wat da nurse looked like :)
n obviously ur fine with all dat humour..so m not bothering to ask ;) :)