Thank you, Poonam Pandey.

I have quit complaining. Seriously, not joking. Some random baba met me and told me to that solution to all the problems is to be more happy and grateful.

And I want to express my gratitude to some of the newsmakers of today, for the inspiration they provide.

You know, I am after all the Aam Aadmi. Till now, the only time the aam aadmi got any attention was the elections. Evolving with the times, I am grateful to you O government, for paying special attention to social media. I always thought due to the double generation gap, you would stay away from the latest fad. But hey! This is it's glory. Only dinosaurs are left to login to twitter.

Shifting back to topic -

My first thanks to our Hon'ble PM, Shri Manmohan Singh. - Thank you, for your mourning in silence for the plight of the common man. I understand by your continous silence that there is a lot to mourn for us. Probably you are aware of more reasons to mourn. I am touched.

Thank you the ruling party, for showing how to prove everyone except your own men wrong. I am really surprised how you have stood tall and brave through all the alleagations. And found ways to hold yourself as Ceaser's wife. Also, thank you for entertainment. (Rahul and Diggi, where have the gone now? Their missing prime time politics)

Thank you, the principal opposition party, for being disunited. This gives oppurtunity to a lot of common man parties to take advantage of the coalition politics and the common man parties can finally earn their limelight and a lot more perquisites that come with that.

Thank you Poonam Pandey, for showing that even an ugly duckling can dominate headlines of the leading online news website.

Dear TOI, thank you for giving hope in the start, middle and end of your website. After all we have only bad news coming al the time. But you are the pioneers! and entertain everyone with second grade porn, in the top , middle and bottom - of your home page.

Thank you Sunny Leone - for proving that a pornstar can dominate the Indian Media - infact more than the Khan trio combined, forget actresses - in recent months, without shedding your modesty on screen or media.

Dear CAG, thank you for showing great guts in revealing your audit results. So what if the auditees go scot free? And inturn call names on your distingushed self instead. But isnt that as much privilege an auditor enjoys in this country?

Thank you Kabir Khan. Why waste your brains racking up an awesome plot? Just take a Khan, patch him up with Katrina, invest in action sequences and you have a winner! I never had any interest in art, but now I've realised that my story infused preferred movies, will all soon be called art cinema.

Thank You Dhoble, for giving some jobless people a life for a month.

Thank you comedians on twitter. Ironically, your jokes make more sense than sense itself.

Thank you Aamir Khan, for Satyamev Jayate. It really raised a debate. There were people for the show v/s people against the show. A really passionate debate ensued. Nation is still the same. But there are a few, not covered by media, who have taken resolutions, who have started taking baby steps in helping those around them and most important - those suffering got a chance to meet you, I cant imagine the thrill in them.

Thank you Mamata Didi. Agreed you've not rolled back any prices, and arrested many common men, and realeased some nuts from jail - forcibly. I mean you are serious entertainment. (And please, I am not a maoist.)

Thank you, the Indiam Army Fans page on Facebook. Ive stopped worshipping cricketers and movie persons. Ive got a new following, thanks to you.

Thank you Arnab Goswami. You have made every issue a sensational one. So much so iv lost sensation of what's sensation and I'm another Brutus in the making. Just the stoic part, I wont mess with Caeser. Honestly, no.

Thank you Hollywood, for flattering Bollywood, by copying our emo story style. You made even spiderman into a younger weeping Shah Rukh Khan.

Thank you intelligence agencies of India. I know youve not figured out our scamsters, terrorists and the rumour mongers. So what? At least your good at getting back at social media and help ensure octogenerians pay interest in it.

Thank you Google, for not blocking this page.

Thank you reader, for reading a non-creative and already known unactionable list of facts.




 

Above poverty line?

Post the return of Montek Singh Ahluwalia from a 10 day overseas trip, some guidance from Shri Rahul Gandhiji and a 'little' feedback from the aam admi, the Planning Commission is looking forward to rectify the poverty line definition.

For those not in the know, the planning commission decided that in the Urban area a person needs only Rs.32 to survive and Rs.25 in the rural areas. Anyone earning less than this amt. Per day basis is in poverty.

I can wager Rs.32 or more on the fact that they decided upon this figure while feasting on the subsidized Parliament canteen snacks.

Now let's try to relate that. No wait I can't. Why?

You see, I am not in the BPL category. Why? Well, bcos - I am staying at a home paying rent, electricity; I am working; I studied; and take leisure in movies, trips etc.

The assumption- or reality is that the BPL do not have a shelter, so no rent & electricity, their children don't need to study, get married or get a life.

All they need to survive is eat some decent meal.

Okay, let's go by that assumption. I hope I can assume that they have a right to three square meals?

No, BPL, so two. Now I have Rs. 32. I want to survive, keeping in mind the assumptions above.

Now you may name some institution giving free meals, but can I reach that place for free? The cost of eating will be substituted by the cost of traveling. So let's stick to my own locality.

Then its done! I can have a samosa pav (Rs.8) for breakfast at a local un-hygenic stall. Some pakoras and cutting chai for lunch.(14) And maybe the off beat pani puri guy (10) or a repeat of samosa pav.

Water, u say? Oh please I am totally fine with microbe and what-not polluted tap water, available for free at these stalls.

So the ultimate Problem Manager of the country, Dr. Manmohan Singh, will meet Mr.Ahluwalia today. Hopefully, we should see a revision. After all, Mrs. Sonia Gandhi, the one who solves all the UPA problems when she intervenes(only when things go publicly bad), guides Dr.Singh.

But my friend Blunty has a different view. "Another Mrs. Gandhi said Garibi Hatao, and three decades later they are still to arrive at a definition of it."

The present Mrs.Gandhi kicked out BJP and their India Shining campaign with two words, Aam Aadmi!

And Rahul Gandhi has been dining with Kalavati and her like across Rural India, and also traveled by our Mumbai ka local!

Probably that's why Rahul Gandhi recollected that and 'intervened' in this issue.

I propose - since Mr.Gandhi claims to 'understand the problems of aam admi' why not he sit on such panels, which are graced by members who get equal pay and priviliges as that of a cabinet member- home, ac car, subsidized food, emoluments etc. All that for estimating the cost of surviving a day in mumbai, which even a 10 year old kid living on streets can tell you accurately.

---Thank You---