"If life gives you lemons.." quotes from Poonam Pandey and others..

Tired of the lemonade answer, I reached out to some movers and shakers for alternative answers. I return much more disappointed and now it's your turn. 

"If life gives you lemons, make a lemon scam.." - statement from Scam cell, Tihar.

"If life gives you lemons, find 555 benefits of it.." - Phunsuk Waingdu

"If life gives you lemons, just laugh and admit lemons don't exist" - Sushil K Shinde.

"If life gives you lemons, sell them and buy out life as well and sell more lemons.." - Reliance

"If life gives you lemons, let them go missing and let BJP waste time on it... Theek hai?" - PMO

"If life gives you lemons, it means Sonia Gandhi wants a Bill passed.." - Maya & Mulayam

"If life gives you lemons, get a panel to throw all the lemon at each other.." - Arnab Goswami.

"If life gives you lemons, buy out all the shizzy hardware to make a lemonade.." - Microsoft

"If life gives you lemons, ask Sachin to retire.." - A media source who didn't want to be named.

"If life gives you lemons, you can invest it in Gujarat.." - Narendra Modi

"If life gives you lemons, let us know.." - Twitter

"If life gives others lemons, let us know.." - Twitter.

"If life gives you lemons, setup a committee to resolve the matter" - BCCI

"If life gives you lemons, your state of mind wants Nimbu Paani.. " - Rahul Gandhi

"If life gives you lemons, that means we can bring poverty line down to Rs. 25 a day." - Montek Singh Ahluwalia.

"If life gives you lemons, pray you get worth Rs. 12." - Raj Babbar

"If life gives you lemons, it's because the oranges were taken by RSS.." - Digvijaya Singh

"If life gives you lemons, save it for hangovers" - Vijay Mallya

"If life gives you lemons, promise a show of melons..ha ha.. ppl will love you even if you dont have them.." - Poonam Pandey

"If life gives you lemons, let the 'hand' do the talking" - (h)MMS.

"If life gives you lemons, Roadies is your haven.. " - MTV

"If life gives you lemons, and you follow any of those quotes, we get ready material.." - Stand up comedians on Twitter.

"If life gives you lemons, write bizzare posts to let the world know about it." - Yours truly

Thank you, Poonam Pandey.

I have quit complaining. Seriously, not joking. Some random baba met me and told me to that solution to all the problems is to be more happy and grateful.

And I want to express my gratitude to some of the newsmakers of today, for the inspiration they provide.

You know, I am after all the Aam Aadmi. Till now, the only time the aam aadmi got any attention was the elections. Evolving with the times, I am grateful to you O government, for paying special attention to social media. I always thought due to the double generation gap, you would stay away from the latest fad. But hey! This is it's glory. Only dinosaurs are left to login to twitter.

Shifting back to topic -

My first thanks to our Hon'ble PM, Shri Manmohan Singh. - Thank you, for your mourning in silence for the plight of the common man. I understand by your continous silence that there is a lot to mourn for us. Probably you are aware of more reasons to mourn. I am touched.

Thank you the ruling party, for showing how to prove everyone except your own men wrong. I am really surprised how you have stood tall and brave through all the alleagations. And found ways to hold yourself as Ceaser's wife. Also, thank you for entertainment. (Rahul and Diggi, where have the gone now? Their missing prime time politics)

Thank you, the principal opposition party, for being disunited. This gives oppurtunity to a lot of common man parties to take advantage of the coalition politics and the common man parties can finally earn their limelight and a lot more perquisites that come with that.

Thank you Poonam Pandey, for showing that even an ugly duckling can dominate headlines of the leading online news website.

Dear TOI, thank you for giving hope in the start, middle and end of your website. After all we have only bad news coming al the time. But you are the pioneers! and entertain everyone with second grade porn, in the top , middle and bottom - of your home page.

Thank you Sunny Leone - for proving that a pornstar can dominate the Indian Media - infact more than the Khan trio combined, forget actresses - in recent months, without shedding your modesty on screen or media.

Dear CAG, thank you for showing great guts in revealing your audit results. So what if the auditees go scot free? And inturn call names on your distingushed self instead. But isnt that as much privilege an auditor enjoys in this country?

Thank you Kabir Khan. Why waste your brains racking up an awesome plot? Just take a Khan, patch him up with Katrina, invest in action sequences and you have a winner! I never had any interest in art, but now I've realised that my story infused preferred movies, will all soon be called art cinema.

Thank You Dhoble, for giving some jobless people a life for a month.

Thank you comedians on twitter. Ironically, your jokes make more sense than sense itself.

Thank you Aamir Khan, for Satyamev Jayate. It really raised a debate. There were people for the show v/s people against the show. A really passionate debate ensued. Nation is still the same. But there are a few, not covered by media, who have taken resolutions, who have started taking baby steps in helping those around them and most important - those suffering got a chance to meet you, I cant imagine the thrill in them.

Thank you Mamata Didi. Agreed you've not rolled back any prices, and arrested many common men, and realeased some nuts from jail - forcibly. I mean you are serious entertainment. (And please, I am not a maoist.)

Thank you, the Indiam Army Fans page on Facebook. Ive stopped worshipping cricketers and movie persons. Ive got a new following, thanks to you.

Thank you Arnab Goswami. You have made every issue a sensational one. So much so iv lost sensation of what's sensation and I'm another Brutus in the making. Just the stoic part, I wont mess with Caeser. Honestly, no.

Thank you Hollywood, for flattering Bollywood, by copying our emo story style. You made even spiderman into a younger weeping Shah Rukh Khan.

Thank you intelligence agencies of India. I know youve not figured out our scamsters, terrorists and the rumour mongers. So what? At least your good at getting back at social media and help ensure octogenerians pay interest in it.

Thank you Google, for not blocking this page.

Thank you reader, for reading a non-creative and already known unactionable list of facts.