Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label politics. Show all posts

Friday, August 24, 2012

Thank you, Poonam Pandey.

I have quit complaining. Seriously, not joking. Some random baba met me and told me to that solution to all the problems is to be more happy and grateful.

And I want to express my gratitude to some of the newsmakers of today, for the inspiration they provide.

You know, I am after all the Aam Aadmi. Till now, the only time the aam aadmi got any attention was the elections. Evolving with the times, I am grateful to you O government, for paying special attention to social media. I always thought due to the double generation gap, you would stay away from the latest fad. But hey! This is it's glory. Only dinosaurs are left to login to twitter.

Shifting back to topic -

My first thanks to our Hon'ble PM, Shri Manmohan Singh. - Thank you, for your mourning in silence for the plight of the common man. I understand by your continous silence that there is a lot to mourn for us. Probably you are aware of more reasons to mourn. I am touched.

Thank you the ruling party, for showing how to prove everyone except your own men wrong. I am really surprised how you have stood tall and brave through all the alleagations. And found ways to hold yourself as Ceaser's wife. Also, thank you for entertainment. (Rahul and Diggi, where have the gone now? Their missing prime time politics)

Thank you, the principal opposition party, for being disunited. This gives oppurtunity to a lot of common man parties to take advantage of the coalition politics and the common man parties can finally earn their limelight and a lot more perquisites that come with that.

Thank you Poonam Pandey, for showing that even an ugly duckling can dominate headlines of the leading online news website.

Dear TOI, thank you for giving hope in the start, middle and end of your website. After all we have only bad news coming al the time. But you are the pioneers! and entertain everyone with second grade porn, in the top , middle and bottom - of your home page.

Thank you Sunny Leone - for proving that a pornstar can dominate the Indian Media - infact more than the Khan trio combined, forget actresses - in recent months, without shedding your modesty on screen or media.

Dear CAG, thank you for showing great guts in revealing your audit results. So what if the auditees go scot free? And inturn call names on your distingushed self instead. But isnt that as much privilege an auditor enjoys in this country?

Thank you Kabir Khan. Why waste your brains racking up an awesome plot? Just take a Khan, patch him up with Katrina, invest in action sequences and you have a winner! I never had any interest in art, but now I've realised that my story infused preferred movies, will all soon be called art cinema.

Thank You Dhoble, for giving some jobless people a life for a month.

Thank you comedians on twitter. Ironically, your jokes make more sense than sense itself.

Thank you Aamir Khan, for Satyamev Jayate. It really raised a debate. There were people for the show v/s people against the show. A really passionate debate ensued. Nation is still the same. But there are a few, not covered by media, who have taken resolutions, who have started taking baby steps in helping those around them and most important - those suffering got a chance to meet you, I cant imagine the thrill in them.

Thank you Mamata Didi. Agreed you've not rolled back any prices, and arrested many common men, and realeased some nuts from jail - forcibly. I mean you are serious entertainment. (And please, I am not a maoist.)

Thank you, the Indiam Army Fans page on Facebook. Ive stopped worshipping cricketers and movie persons. Ive got a new following, thanks to you.

Thank you Arnab Goswami. You have made every issue a sensational one. So much so iv lost sensation of what's sensation and I'm another Brutus in the making. Just the stoic part, I wont mess with Caeser. Honestly, no.

Thank you Hollywood, for flattering Bollywood, by copying our emo story style. You made even spiderman into a younger weeping Shah Rukh Khan.

Thank you intelligence agencies of India. I know youve not figured out our scamsters, terrorists and the rumour mongers. So what? At least your good at getting back at social media and help ensure octogenerians pay interest in it.

Thank you Google, for not blocking this page.

Thank you reader, for reading a non-creative and already known unactionable list of facts.




 

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Facepalm! DiDi..

Hello people! So starting a new venture with comics. All thanks to pixton.com for the cartoons, i could never draw by hand. Enjoy!


Saturday, May 5, 2012

Heads will roll

"Heads will roll" yelled Rahul Gandhi after the UP  debacle. When uncle Diggi presumed, ass usual, that Congress would get 100 seats said "All credit goes to Rahul".  Baba Gandhi went all over UP, sidelining the local Congress people, and centralizing the campaign around himself.

Congress lost, to worsen things BJP won more seats than them - in state which has been a Waterloo for the party.

"Head will roll" yell Rahul Baba.

My only humble question is - which one??




















Last I heard - he got a clean chit.

And he continues to harass Mumbaikars by traveling with his elephant security in the locals, goes to drought affected areas and any disaster affected areas.
) "
But he is a honest guy no doubt. His poll campaign in UP was - (translated to English) " I will get you change, but you will have to wait fo rten years to see full change. If you think that change will come now, sorry then dont wont for me." .... And they didn't.


Thursday, February 23, 2012

Slap Song



Yo guys!

I write song..

Flop song..

Slap song..

Umm..  why this Slap-a –veri slap-a-tune-slap-a-kyun di? – 2

Saif-u babu, go to eat-u, noise-u make-u loud-u

NRI babu, mad become-u  gave one thapaack-u

Slap-u, punch-u & nose broke-u

Saif went jail-u

Media roar-u, makes uproar-u

Saif got a bail-u

Ohh why this Slap-a –veri slap-a-tune-slap-a-kyun di? – 2


Be it Shahrukh or Pawar everybody is in it. The Bacchans just got a daughter or Im sure they would get one too. (mostly Abhishek, for still acting)

I am surprised Salman has not given one out yet.

Remember the shoe/chappal flinging incidents?


Thanks to the recession, people are making the wiser choice of retaining their articles.

Slap is free, gives a better prospect of hitting the target and doesn’t matter if it hurts or not. Publicity guaranteed.


You see politicians are making a bee line for jails these days, these guys just don’t mind chilling out in the AC jails till their out. So here’s one punishment that can be given –

Line em up in the public (or inside the walls of the jail), media and all, and slap them, everyday.


The EC need not give summons and jail terms to all those violating code of conduct. Breaking the law? 
Violating code of conduct? Rahul Gandhi, Salman Khurshid.. come here.. SLAP!

Even if the slappers get jailed, what could be the jail term? Besides, like I said earlier, jail is just a joke.


No need of mob lynching! Caught a thief? Stand in line, SLAP-SLAP-SLAP! So even if he enters that area again, people will recognize him, he just cant afford to come back again.


Considering the slow moving justice in India, SLAP might be the judicial reform we were looking for!

Just kidding..


Too violent u say? Not at all. Ask Russell Peters.. he can vouch for it.

It can even result in a fortune for the slapped.


For example there was this really irritating kid who dared to go and bug Rajnikanth..

Rajni touched that boys face….“SLAPP..” “Ouuuuuuuu…. Ouuuuuu” sang the child.


Yes, you guessed it right! Apna Himesh bhai! He made a whole career and fortune out of just crying. And he has enough money to make his own movie, act in it and he doesn’t even wish for an audience. That’s power of a slap. (Disclaimer:  But that’s Rajnikanth’s slap)


But here’s another song to sign off with..


“Chaanta lagaa…. Hain lagaa… a jaa.. raa jaa.. Kaan ke niche.. tere takle ke piche.. laga ke diya.. zor se diya.. bajaa ke diyaa.. chaanta lagaa..”


Warning – Mr. Sibal, if you are planning to censor this blog or included songs... Well.. wear cheek guards. Mind it!